How can a heart so broken and crippled by shattered dreams and the death of trust love again?

When from the innermost chambers of soul and spirit pours forth rage and fear, powerlessness and ambivalence; how can Your light shine?

How can the Sun shine again when to me all has become night?

The sun has set on former days and dreams. The shadows of hopelessness surround my very being. The phantoms of loss fuel the fire of my grief and pain.

Is there anything to numb this searing pain that drones endlessly, this Hell inside my heart. What narcotic of soul can ease this passing? The vanity of this life is but a moment a drop for intolerable thirst. Maddening desire for safety and comfort, control.

The madness and chaos of sin have left scars and imprints. I am not unscathed for now. How can this heart so battered and betrayed by the sins of those so close and dear love again? How can this heart that chokes up and steels itself against any sign faithlessness trust again? My God I ask how!

Some say have faith. My heart has died to faith in man-in whom change is a constant and reliability is a fable.

This is the only faith I have... To come before You and voice my complaint. To voice my dirge and requiem! My faith is to come to Your throne and wrestle. That faith is my all and all I have.
 
By: Antonio Miguel Perez