Whether a parent yourself, or a grandparent, an aunt, an uncle, a neighbor, a teacher, a scout leader, or whatever your role in the lives of the children around you, this important series will give you valuable tips on how to influence those kids for the Lord! For former lessons from Bringing up Kids God’s Way, go to www.scripturalnuggets.org/Folder5/parenting_gods_way.htm .
Bringing up Kids God's Way, Part 6:
The Relationship, Part D:
Trust Issues, Part i:
The “Why” and the “How”
Over the last few weeks, we've seen how important it
is to have a good relationship with your kids. We've learned that
relationship building requires that we "stop" our personal pursuits, that
we watch to see where our kids are at and join them in their interests,
and that we learn how to listen to them effectively. We've also seen how
vital good communication is to that relationship. But what about trust?
Learning to trust is an extremely crucial part of any relationship.
Feeling free to trust frees us from worry and needless anxiety. It also
helps to create bonds, and it goes a long way towards reducing the
friction that can arise when there is a clash of wills. In order to truly
love someone, to truly commit your life to someone, you must first learn
to trust that person. Thus, trust also becomes a vital part of our
relationship with God.
So often, however, we never learn to trust. Those we are close to are
human and they let us down. We learn we can't trust anyone but ourselves,
and then it becomes difficult, if not impossible, to have a deep,
meaningful relationship with anyone.
Unfortunately, even though God has NEVER given us a reason to NOT trust,
our learned inability to trust other humans makes it difficult for us to
learn to trust God as well. And since kids learn by example, our inability
to trust God will lead them to not trust Him either!
As the adults in the lives of our kids, it is our God-given responsibility
to help them learn how to trust. Not only will this go a long ways towards
strengthening our relationship with them, but it will also teach them how
to trust, a skill that will be vital for them in life's relationships,
including their relationship with God.
How can we help our children learn to trust?
The Bible gives us the answer: "In this case, moreover, it is required of
stewards that ONE BE FOUND TRUSTWORTHY." (1 Cor 4:2-3 NASB) In other
words, we need to consistently prove to our children that WE are
trustworthy!
Here are three key ways of ensuring that our kids can find us trustworthy:
1. Lead exemplary lives
We need to put into practice what we are trying to teach our children.
When we do, we give the message that what we say is important enough to be
standards in our own lives. This goes a long way towards helping kids
learn to trust what we say. When we don't "practice what we preach", we
give mixed messages, and it becomes detrimental to trust-building. We need
to remember a vitally-important piece of advice given to us by Jesus: "For
everyone to whom much is given, FROM HIM MUCH WILL BE REQUIRED." (Luke
12:48 NKJV) We have been given the awesome responsibility of being an
example for the kids in our lives. If we want our kids to trust what we
tell them, we must do everything in our power to lead exemplary lives. We
must practice what we preach!
2. Trust God first and foremost in our own lives
Where we, as humans, fail, God never fails. He is always faithful about
His promises (see 1 Peter 3:15), and we can look back through history and
see how faithfully he has always kept them.
Our flawed human experiences often keep us from trusting God, and our own
lack of trust in God gives the message to our children that He is not to
be trusted! We need to take time to reflect on His faithfulness and
remember that He is faithful yesterday, today, and forever. Only when we
learn to trust God, we will be able to teach that trust in God to our
children!
3. Promise Keeping
Think about it: A colleague promises you he will write up the proposal for
the product research the two of you have been working on. But when the
time comes to present that proposal, you learn he didn't do it! Will you
trust him in the future? The answer is "no". When someone doesn't keep his
or her promises, it becomes very difficult to trust that person! In the
same way, when a parent or someone of authority in a child's life never
keeps his or her promises, or even for a one-time instance, breaks the
child's confidence in some way, that child will have difficulty learning
to trust.
On the other hand, when we are diligent about keeping our promises, it
becomes much easier for those around us to learn to trust us.
I'll admit, keeping our promises is easier said than done. Sometimes we
promise things, and then something comes up and we can't keep that
promise. Or sometimes we promise things without really realizing what we
are promising. And then there's the element of how kids define whether or
not you've kept your promises. In your mind, you may think you have, but
in their minds, you haven't! Whatever the cause, the end is the same: You
lose the confidence of your kids!
The bottom line is this: If you make a promise to the child in your life,
do EVERYTHING in your power to keep it!
In summary, it is our God-given responsibility to help the kids in our
lives learn to trust. We do so by leading exemplary lives, by trusting God
in our own lives, and by keeping our promises.
But how are we to go about keeping our promises when so many things can
happen to make us break them?
Join us next week for a simple, 6-step guide for promise keeping: Bringing
up Kids God's Way, Part 6Dii!
In His love,
Lyn
Lyn Chaffart, Mother of two teens, Author
and Moderator for The Nugget, a tri-weekly internet newsletter, and
Scriptural Nuggets, a website devoted to Christian devotionals and
inspirational poems,
www.scripturalnuggets.org , with
Answers2Prayer Ministries,
www.Answers2Prayer.org
.
P. S. If you would like to learn more about trust in God, why not check out our Bible studies on Faith? Go to http://www.scripturalnuggets.org/folder4/Faith%20--%20A%20Miniseries.htm And if you are simply trouble learning to trust God, maybe we can help. Email me at helpmelearnaboutjesus@gmail.com .