Dealing
with grief is perhaps one of the hardest things that we, as humans, must do.
Grief may be rooted in a death or illness, or it may be rooted in a loss, such
as the loss of support, the loss of a spouse through divorce, the loss of a job,
or even the feelings of abandonment that parents often go through as they
realize they must allow their children to grow up. The upcoming 2 devotionals,
that will be appearing in the next 2 Saturday editions of The Nugget, will be
more specific, personal stories of how we can help others when they are dealing
with grief. Our prayer is that you will be blessed by this series, and that
somehow, whatever it is you are grieving, the lessons presented here will help
you to get through. For former lessons on Dealing with Grief, please go to
www.scripturalnuggets.org/folder6/dealing_with_grief.htm .
Dealing with Grief, Part 10:
And Encouraging Silence
In Dealing with Grief Part 9, we learned that when
someone you know is grieving, your prayers make more of a difference than
you could possibly know! Today's devotional gives us yet another idea about
how we can help others deal with grief:
AN ENCOURAGING SILENCE
"Jesus kept silence--not a word from his mouth. The governor was
impressed, really impressed." (Mat 27:14 The Message)
Silence can be a big encouragement to many people. I am not talking here
about failing to show appreciation. I am simply saying that there are times
when silence is golden and means more than a myriad of words.
Jesus' silence when falsely accused "impressed" the governor. Why? Because
it is a human tendency to always defend ourselves. Not so with Jesus. His
silence had more meaning to the governor than any defense Jesus might have
given on His behalf. This is why Pilate was convinced that Jesus was
innocent! (see Luk 23:4)
I remember the night my dad passed away. A somber message from my brother
was left on our answering machine in the middle of the night. I made
immediately all the necessary arrangements for my wife and I to fly to
Belgium and to make arrangements for my mother-in-law (bless her) to fly out
from California to take care of our son who was sick with the flu. I didn't
completely comprehend at the time that my dad was gone. It wasn't until I
saw him laying lifeless in the hospital that it hit home. That's when my
tears poured forth. I didn't know the Lord at the time, and I thought he
would never be able to enjoy the pleasure of sight any longer. My world had
seemed to have crumbled.
Many people came to give me their condolences. They filled the air with
meaningless words. I know they meant well, but my state of mind was not such
that I could appreciate their words. The ones who were the most annoying
were the ones who made long speeches. Didn't they understand I couldn't
grasp what they said? I was living in fog. I felt empty and completely
discouraged, and all of these well-meaning friends were keeping me from
grieving!
However, there was one person and one person alone who made a difference as
I struggled to cope with the loss of my dad. That person had insisted of
coming with me to Belgium. That person had insisted on being with me in my
darkest hour. That person never uttered a word. She held my hand when I
needed a presence. She hugged me when I needed comfort. She even held me in
her arms when I tried to fall asleep at night, although later on I found out
that this kept her from sleeping herself. She cried when I cried. This
person's presence made a whole difference to me during my time of mourning.
Her silence meant more to me that the hundreds of encouragements I verbally
received. This person was my wife. By silently caring about me, she
helped to turn my world rightside up again.
I would like to encourage any of you who find yourselves in the situation
where you need to console someone, just be there. Hold them if they need
comfort, cry with them for their loss. You being there will mean the world
to them. Many years may pass by, but they will always remember that you were
the one who really mourned, the one sent by God to help them out of the
state of fog their mind was in. Your silence will be golden and will be
perceived as the best encouragement they could have ever received.
The same is true when we pray. How often do we give endless monologues that
end up with us still not knowing God's will for our situation? God's Word is
clear on this:
"Quiet, everyone! Shh! Silence before GOD. Something's afoot in his holy
house. He's on the move!" (Zec 2:13 Message)
We need to be quiet to be able to hear His voice! Prayer is not a monologue,
it's a dialogue and we need to wait and listen to God's response. No wonder
that so many people hate praying. Who likes monologues? I don't know of many
people who do. However if you let God talk with you, you will hunger for
more of these conversations with God.
I love my moments when I am in dialogue with my Heavenly father. The best
way for me to do so is to go for a power walk with my Forever Friend. I
always come back from my walk enriched and blessed. The more I listen to Him
and the less I talk, the more blessed I am.
"Silence is praise to you, Zion-dwelling God, And also obedience." (Psa
65:1 Message)
When we are in communication with God, and we take the time to listen, our
silence is considered by God as a praise offering. It also shows our
obedience because it shows that we want to hear His voice. We want to know
His will. We care for His directions in our lives. We realize that He is the
One who makes a difference in our world. He is so awesome.
My Heavenly Father holds me, too, when I need comfort. He cares for me way
beyond anyone on this planet. And He cares for you in the same way! Will you
go for a power walk with God right now? Listen to His voice. Wait on Him.
You will be amazed to His revelations. He wants to have a relationship with
you. Go for it and enjoy it! Silence can be golden!
Rob Chaffart*
And what can we learn from this devotional? When helping others to deal with
grief, sometimes our place is just to be there and to listen. Our
encouraging silence will speak volumes more than our words ever could.
Please join us next week for one last lesson on how we can help others deal
with grief in Dealing with Grief, Part 11: Comfort From Above
* Rob Chaffart, Father of two teens, Teacher, Author and Moderator for the
Illustrator and the Sermon Illustrator website (www.sermonillustrator.org ),
founder of Answers2Prayer Ministries (www.Answer2Prayer.org ) To contact him
click here