Big Boys Do Cry
"And Jesus wept." (John 11:35)
"Big boys don’t cry." I heard those words a lot
growing up in America in the late sixties and early seventies. In those days
men were expected to be tough and rugged and never shed a tear no matter
what. Our heroes were all stone faced cowboys who were too strong to cry.
Believing this then I tried my best never to cry at all during my teenage
and early adult years.
All that changed, however, as I was driving home alone one night shortly
after my Mom died. It was dark and raining outside. I was struggling to keep
the car on the road while at the same time struggling to hold the tears back
in my eyes. I remember almost going off the road twice as I blinked back the
salty water that was burning my eyes and blurring my vision. My hands shook,
my heart hurt, and my soul felt dead. Finally I could do it no longer. I
stopped, pulled over, lay my head on the steering wheel, and cried. I cried
until the tears couldn’t fall anymore. I cried until the pain that I was
holding onto so strongly finally fled my heart.
After that night I realized something. Big boys do cry. In fact, it is the
biggest hearts that cry the most. I realized too that it is our tears that
can release us from our anger and our grief while reconnecting us to our
love and our God. Tears help us to embrace this often bittersweet life. They
help us to keep growing closer to each other in love and joy instead of
shutting ourselves up in dull, aching, and lonely hearts.
These days I cry a lot more often. Sometimes the tears are sad. Sometimes
the tears are joyous. But always the tears are full of love. I do my best to
follow the advice of Leo Buscaglia who said, "Crying is good! It cleans out
your eyeballs!" My eyeballs are a lot cleaner now than they used to be and
my heart is as well. I hope then that every boy and girl out there realizes
that tears are a gift from Heaven. They wash away the pain and water the
seeds of love in your soul.
By: Joseph J. Mazzella
Joe Mazzella is a writer and mental Health worker who lives in the mountains of West Virginia with his 3 children, 6 dogs, and 4 cats. He appreciates hearing from his readers. joemazzella@frontier.com