Lessons From Handicaps, Part 3:
Seeing Through Autism's Walls
"May you always be doing those good, kind things that show you are a child of God, for this will bring much praise and glory to the Lord." (Phil 1:11 TLB)
I pulled an old photo album from its shelf yesterday and wiped
the dust off of it. It is one that I rarely open, but something moved me to open
it then. Inside of it were baby pictures of my youngest son from the day of his
birth until he was 18 months old. Looking at them made my heart ache, not with
nostalgia but with loss. You see, the reason I hardly ever look at these
pictures is that I can see in them the normal child my son could of been. When I
look at those happy, intelligent, and shining eyes in the photos I can see all
the years of learning, growing, and becoming that my son could have had before
the autism came.
The severe autism that came upon my son in his second year stole his language,
changed his personality, and forever clouded his mind. It left him with a life
of frustration, mood swings, compulsive behavior, and mental pain. Each day now
is a struggle for him and although I try to make his life easier and give him as
much love and joy as I can, in the end the autism is always there keeping him
from being the person he could have been.
One thing, however, that brings me joy is that everyday I can see his gentle
spirit break through those autistic walls around him. Sometimes it is in a
laugh, sometimes it is in a smile, sometimes it is in a hug, but it always lets
me know that a loving soul still lives within him. One day in the life after
this one I hope to get to talk to that sweet spirit and thank him for all the
love he gave me and all that he taught me about patience, compassion, and life.
I am going to try and look at those old pictures more often now. I want them to
remind me of who my son truly is: a Child of God, a Being of Light, and a Spirit
full of Love. The next time then that you see a person trapped in a handicapped
body or mind don’t look away, look within. If you do you will see a brother or
sister who wants and needs your love.
Joseph J. Mazzella